Saturday, August 27, 2011

Saturday morning coffee

Funny bits and pieces of funny bits that might come up if we were having Saturday morning coffee in a cafe somewhere.

Earlier this month, Bojana Jovanovski, a Serbian professional tennis player, played in the Mercury International Tournament in Carlsbad, California.  The 19-year-old is currently ranked 54th on the Woman's Tour. 

When her flight landed, she saw no sign of the promised limousine driver, and called the tournament promoters.  They told her the driver was at the airport looking for her, but so far hadn't been able to find her.  "How can he not see me? I am the only person in the airport," she exclaimed.

Take a moment to make sure you can explain the foregoing facts without looking below, at the end of this foolishness. (Assume both the promoters and the player were speaking truthfully and accurately.)

The other day the newsfolk on the radio reported that Texas Governor Rick Perry did not believe the scientific evidence that human activities have caused or contributed to global warming, and would not support using government funds to try to fight the problem. A few minutes later an unrelated news story detailed Texas’s suffering from record heat and drought conditions.

How soon will they change the Republican Party symbol from the elephant to the ostrich?

The Purple Onion is a small restaurant open on weekends during the warmer half of the year in Mogollon, a high-altitude New Mexico ghost town. It offers pie for dessert because, according to co-owner Tom Miller, a magazine article some years ago said the restaurant was famous for its pies. "At the time, we weren’t making pies and we really had no interest in doing that. But people read the article and started showing up asking for our famous pies. So we decided we better start making some." (Some time during the next couple of months I’ll investigate and report on those pies, particularly if they include blueberry.)

Item reprinted in its entirety from the El Paso Times’s Living section last Friday:

      Blessing for backpacks
      to be Sunday at New Hope

      Students or teachers: Feeling as if you’ll
      need a little help from above this school
      Don’t miss the special blessing for back-
      packs at 9 and 11 a.m. Sunday at New Hope
      Lutheran Church, 4801 Sun Valley.
      All students and educators are welcome
      to attend.

We have a couple of Arizona ash trees out back. (They were living here before we arrived.) Apparently they normally live near river-beds – which there ain’t any of, up in Talavera; but the Texas ash is both better suited to desert conditions and a good deal more colorful in the fall. But you don’t see ‘em around here at all. One expert says that that's because New Mexicans would prefer not to buy something with "Texas" in the name if they can help it.

By the way, any New Mexican should be able immediately to explain the tennis player’s problem in the first anecdote above. If it puzzles you, the hint is that she could have seen some pretty impressive caves before her match.

Our friend the lady pharmacist used to mention that she often felt pretty beat up after several patrons in a row berate her because their insurance won’t cover a prescription or costs have gone up or no one can read the doctor’s writing. We asked her about that Tuesday morning at breakfast. She said it was no longer a problem. "I bought myself a pair of Hulk-gloves, those big green boxing gloves the Hulk wears? Any problems, I say ‘Wait a minute, please’ and reach down for the gloves and put ‘em on, then stand up like this," she said, adopting the classic boxing pose. Apparently people just laugh. When she was working as a relief pharmacist over in Carlsbad the other day, one man even came in the next day brandishing his own pair of the gloves.

The tennis player, of course, had mistakenly flown to Carlsbad, New Mexico. (She didn’t see the caverns or my friend the pharmacist, did stay the night in New Mexico, but got on another plane as quickly as possible and made it to the right Carlsbad just in time to lose her first-round match.)

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