"What Did You Do in the War, Daddy?"

Crises show us who we are.

Many local people are doing good. Cruces Creatives is making masks, as are Alice Davenport (Moonbow) and Tony Palumbo (Medicare Options). Russell Allen (Allen Theaters) is paying his pandemic-idled employees. Bernie Digman (Milagro Coffee) takes bagels to hungry people. (One recipient requested “blueberry if you come this way again.” Bernie replied, “Blueberry it shall be, my good man, blueberry it shall be.” ) I’ve seen folks buy extra sandwiches to give to folks who need them. 

 

Amy Whipple, a Las Cruces in-home caregiver and substitute teacher, has built a community cupboard in her front yard, to help neighbors in need. Anyone can take and/or leave an item. Jeremiah Richardson has organized meal deliveries from local restaurants, to feed the elderly. 

 

A Las Crucen I’ve known all her life is a nurse in Baltimore. She’s taken on a tough assignment, working 12-hour shifts with COVID-19 patients, four days on, four days off. She didn’t have to sign up; but she lives alone, is young and healthy, and will strictly follow all recommended precautions; and if someone has to get the virus, she says she’s a better candidate than most. 

 

Our City is freeing up funds for emergency uses including meals and other suddenly urgent needs. 

 

Our Governor jumped in earlier than most leaders to take some tough actions that weren’t entirely popular. She started shutting down the state March 11. when many others were still stumbling around – and while Trump was saying Democrats were exaggerating the pandemic for political purposes. Maybe her health-care background helped. Florida’s freshman Republican Governor refused to issue a statewide lockdown order until April 2.

We can’t all be heroes, or make tough decisions on behalf of a state or city.

But we can be our best. This crisis will test us all, in various ways, and whatever grades our performances deserve, they are ours.

Many of us are faced with disquieting aloneness. Only we can determine whether it’s depressing loneliness or peaceful solitude.

Nothing will expose relationship flaws quicker than forced time together when most everyone is anxious. It’s no surprise that China has reports an uptick in divorces since its lockdown. Here, LCPD, DASO, and La Casa are fielding more than the usual numbers of calls regarding spousal abuse and child abuse. 

 

Let’s give each other a break. Your partner’s behavior and your feelings about that behavior are partially reactions to a strain neither of you caused.

Children will wear the scars of this period longer than anyone. How do we – just when we feel least patient and most confused – help minimize the negative impact of this crisis on our kids?

A recent study concluded the strongest factor influencing a working person’s happiness is whether or not s/he feels useful and respected at work. Now many people are out of work. That hurts not only our wallets but our confidence that we matter.

Talk to your kids about what’s happening. Tell them the truth, phrased to suit their understanding and experience. 

 

Use this unexpected time together to really BE together. Is there a skill you’ve always wanted to teach your child? A book you know s/he’d love? 

 

It’s tough, particularly if you’ve been laid off and wondering how you’ll pay the rent; but taking out your anxiety on family won’t get the rent paid.

Our kids won’t ask “What did you do in the crisis?” They’ll know.

                                                   – 30 --

[The above column appeared this morning, Sunday, 5 April 2020, in the Las Cruces Sun-News, as well as on the newspaper's website and KRWG's website.  A radio commentary version will air during the week both on KRWG and on KTAL, 101.5 FM (Las Cruces Community Radio), and will be available on-demand on KRWG's website. ] 
 [btw, here's a news story from NM Political Report on rising numbers of domestic abuse calls around the state: 2020/04/05/domestic-violence--reports-of-abuse-are-on-the-rise.]