A new AARP Magazine article reminded me of the
day I said farewell to a delightful, courageous Japanese lady named
Kise.
A year earlier, her stepson approached
me in the market and asked me to help free his Japanese stepmother.
She was “like a second mother.” When he first went to Japan at
14, she not only welcomed him but effected a reconciliation with his
father.
She'd moved to the U.S. with her
husband, who died in 1993. She loved her garden and her cat, but she
was aging, and her stepson lived in California. They'd discussed her
moving there when living alone got too hard. He'd arranged home-help
for her here, but she fired the help.
It was a shock when a neighbor called:
authorities had put her somewhere -- for her own safety.
He and his wife came to Las Cruces.
They wanted to take her to California. They couldn't. The guardians
and their lawyer vilified him.
I helped them awhile, as a lawyer,
then referred them to a firm.
As a columnist, I've learned from
other sources of heartbreaking abuses of New Mexico's guardianship
laws. I was even advised that “clients” were in the charge of a
woman who had been fired, allegedly for questionable treatment of
clients. (An
October 2017 New Yorker article detailed abuses of Nevada's law,
which was especially favorable to guardians taking over people's
lives, even where family was willing and able to help.)
New Mexico's Supreme Court created a
commission to look into abuses and make recommendations. The
Commission heard many horror stories. It recommended that when
someone is in danger of being committed, family must be notified and
given a voice. It also recommended making hearings public. While
we'd like to keep such proceedings confidential to protect the person
involved, confidentiality allows guardians to abuse their power. (In
Nevada, there were numerous cases of an agency taking over a person's
life, collecting handsome sums from the person's bank account, and
refusing families' efforts to help – or even visit.) Sometimes,
though, guardians do wonderful and essential work.
In January 2017, Judge James T. Martin
ordered the guardians to try to help Kise move to California. They
made excuses. (They'd made clear to me that they had no intention of
moving her.) They kept her living with people far less functional
than she; and their willfulness cost her and her stepson lots of
money. (During one visit, a lady who was intently watching a TV show
for young children kept confusing Kise and me with characters in the
show. Kise whispered, “You don't get smarter in here.”)
In February 2018 the Judge ordered
them to comply with his 2017 order.
We celebrated with lunch at Aqua Reef.
We were so relieved that Kise could finally move to a facility near
her stepson's home, join them for meals, and go to their house to
garden. She called them “a godsend.”
I wished I had a videotape of our
conversation to show her “guardians.” What was remarkable about
our good-bye lunch was that it wasn't remarkable. Kise was charming
and quick-witted. Her stepson and his wife treated her with the love
and respect she deserved.
As I hugged everyone, I realized how
moved I felt.
It seemed incredible that for over a
year her guardian and court-appointed lawyer (perhaps
well-intentioned), had charged Kise big bucks to keep her locked up
and away from her family.
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[The above column appeared this morning, Sunday, 7 October 2018, in the Las Cruces Sun-News, as well as on the newspaper's website and KRWG's website (New Mexico's Guardianship System Raises Serious Questions). A spoken version will air during the week on KRWG and on KTAL, 101.5 FM (streamable at www.lccommunityradio.org,]
[I can't say much more about Kise's case, except that when I've had a chance to talk with her and her stepson, things sound so much better than when she was here. Nothing against the facility in which she was kept, where the people who worked with her seemed to genuinely like her and be liked by her. The key problem is that operating in relative darkness, guardians have pretty absolute power over their charges, particularly since in any disagreement a competent-appearing professional has a pretty significant credibility edge on a person who is or may be approaching dementia. And we know what Lord Acton said about absolute power corrupting absolutely. Perhaps it's a wonder that some -- perhaps the majority of -- guardians are honest and caring and thoughtful.]
[In California, Kise read this column and appreciated it. She commented that "you don't normally read something in the newspaper so truthful." Thursday is her birthday -- she'll be 87 -- and I'll be thinking of her.]
[Again, I do not mean by this column to indict an industry. Or anyone. I mean to join the chorus warning that there are dangers here. Kise did need some kind of intervention. But the guardians, in my opinion, dug in too deeply when faced with a loving family. Her stepson became the Enemy, and battling him seemed to become their mission. I'm told that under the new rules, they would have been required to serve him with papers right from the start, which would have helped here.]
[By the way, although stories have also appeared in the Albuquerque Journal, the AARP Magazine piece (by Kenneth Miller), which sparked my publication of this column, is in the October/November issue and is entitled "AARP Investigates: A Legal Hostage" and subtitled, "A court-ordered guardianship nearly shattered the life of Kise Davis in a trend that now too often leads to isolation and exploitation of older Americans." (I'd written the column months ago, but not thought it appropriate to publish it while the case was in the courts and before the information in it had become public.)]
[Again, I do not mean by this column to indict an industry. Or anyone. I mean to join the chorus warning that there are dangers here. Kise did need some kind of intervention. But the guardians, in my opinion, dug in too deeply when faced with a loving family. Her stepson became the Enemy, and battling him seemed to become their mission. I'm told that under the new rules, they would have been required to serve him with papers right from the start, which would have helped here.]
[By the way, although stories have also appeared in the Albuquerque Journal, the AARP Magazine piece (by Kenneth Miller), which sparked my publication of this column, is in the October/November issue and is entitled "AARP Investigates: A Legal Hostage" and subtitled, "A court-ordered guardianship nearly shattered the life of Kise Davis in a trend that now too often leads to isolation and exploitation of older Americans." (I'd written the column months ago, but not thought it appropriate to publish it while the case was in the courts and before the information in it had become public.)]
Larry and Kise -- from the AARP article |
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