A guy brought a prospectus the other day. The administration is going public. If we invest now, we get a share in the profits.
“I didn’t know there were profits,” I said. “The U.S. government is in hock already, with Congressfolk screaming about the debt.
“Yeah, but only suckers pay taxes. We find ways to help rich folks and oil companies avoid taxes and regulations, and they pay well. Remember Trump’s campaign meeting with the oil companies, explaining all the ways he could help them and saying they should contribute billions to his campaign?”
“Yeah, but look how incompetent all his appointees are! Pete Hegseth?
“The beauty is, incompetence is irrelevant. The people paying us the money tell us what they need. His two biggest inauguration contributors were JBS, the Brazilian company that owns Pilgrim’s Pride chicken processor and Ripple, those cryptocurrency guys, $5 million each. JBS, a Brazilian company, had been trying for years to procure governmental approval for a U.S. stock listing. A few months in, JBS finally gets government approval for its stock listing, and the SEC settles its long-running lawsuit against Ripple, which included personal liability for its top managers, and their coins soar.”
“I’d heard that the inaugural fundraising game brought in a quarter of a billion dollars – about equal to the sum of the last four inaugurations.”
“Pardons are great, too.”
“Yeah, Mr. Trump must be really merciful and caring. He’s issued an incredible number of pardons.”
“Not just the patriots he conned into invading the Capitol four years ago, beating up Capitol police and scaring Congress and Pence half to death. It’s real people with real bank accounts. He released that nursing home big shot who stole more than $10 million, including $7 million in withheld payroll taxes, as a “million dollar favor” to the prisoner’s mother after she attended a $1 million-a-plate Trump fundraiser and raised other money. Or the reality TV couple convicted on $36 million in bank fraud and tax evasion, but their daughter spoke at the Convention.
“Aren’t people supposed to show some remorse?”
“Dumb-ass! That’s for parole hearings. Pardon means you’re good to go. There’s no law requiring a reason.”
“What if Trump supporters ask questions?”
“They don’t. First of all, they’re so excited that he doesn’t take a salary?”
“What is the salary?”
“$400K.”
“Chump change!” I agreed.
“There are so many ways to monetize the presidency! Not just Bibles, commemorative coins and medals, and such, but foreign entities dropped $750,000 a his hotels last term, and political groups and government agencies spent $160 million at his businesses. He’s made billions of dollars from Trump Truth Social. Smith Social would have gone bankrupt. And the United Arab Emirates invested $2 billion into the Trump family’s cryptocurrency company just before Trump sent the UAE a huge shipment of AI Chips.”
“Wow!”
“Hell, we’ve got folks paying $5 million for a few minutes alone with him. Or $2mill for a seat at a candlelight dinner at Mar-a-Lago. Find a few more of those folks, you could pick up a commission, not just your shareholder profit! Or a few more rich folks who need someone out of jail.”
“It sounds great! But one last question. So many Trump schemes went bankrupt. Should that worry me?”
“Hell, no! He was younger then – and casinos are a gamble, but this Presidency deal is solid!”
– 30 --
[A shortened and sharpened radio commentary version of this Sunday column will air during the week on KRWG (90.1 FM) and on KTAL-LP (101.5 FM / http://www.lccommunityradio.org/). That website also contains station archives.]
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